


The Problem With JJ

by AkinoAme



Category: Kamen Rider Den-O, ウルトラマンオーブ | Ultraman Orb
Genre: And now for something completely stupid, Crack Crossover, Gen, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 22:23:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15277455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkinoAme/pseuds/AkinoAme
Summary: A new customer at Milk Dipper starts leaving his mark on everything, whether it's a good thing or not.





	The Problem With JJ

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wei (wei_jiangling)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wei_jiangling/gifts).



> Your turn, Wei.

                The young man who came to Milk Dipper once a week was extremely charming and easily likable. He never gave his real name, insisting no one would ever believe it, but simply asked everyone to call him JJ.

                JJ tended to order more expensive blends of coffee, but he always paid well and treated everyone there with respect. On a day when Ryotaro's luck acted up again and he managed to spill everyone's coffee all over himself, JJ explained that he knew someone else who had accidents like this, so it wasn't a big deal. He then ordered a fresh round for everyone in the cafe and slipped a generous tip in Ryotaro's pocket when he wasn't looking. Ryotaro felt better about him after that. Not everyone was that understanding about his clumsiness and bad luck, even among their regulars.

                Airi liked him well enough, but then, Airi liked everyone. And everyone liked her. JJ, however, kept it strictly professional, which was another point in his favor. He'd immediately noticed that Airi had spent a lot of time customizing naturally sweeter blends for Yuuto, and when he saw Miura and Ozaki trying to hit on her again, he quietly but forcefully told them both to knock it off and respect the fact that she was obviously taken. That won him some points with Yuuto, as well as with Ryutaros, who really didn't want to share his sister with anyone else if he could help it.

                JJ was also popular with women, attracting more to the cafe, which smoothed things over between him and the other men anyway. Airi liked having a more consistent female clientele too—as did Urataros, who liked to take over Ryotaro and flirt whenever his contract partner's guard was down. He did, however, make the mistake of doing so in front of JJ, but the man either didn't notice the change or didn't think it was that weird, instead quietly advising "Ryotaro" to be careful with how he treated women and not to leave anyone in tears. That endeared him to Kintaros, who had woken up at the word "tears" and nearly taken over Ryotaro himself, only to hear the most beautiful speech on love he'd ever heard in his life. Instead of pushing Urataros out, he loudly wept throughout the dining car of DenLiner.

                The hardest one to win over was Momotaros, of course, if only because he didn't like anyone at first glance. Something "smelled off" about JJ, as far as Momo was concerned, and he was convinced that no matter how impressive he'd come off to the others, JJ was definitely up to _something_.

                And then one day, when Momotaros took over Ryotaro for some training, JJ showed up.

                JJ was quiet and good at sneaking up on people, which was one of the things that Momotaros liked the least about him. In fact, that was one of the reasons Momo had dragged Ryotaro out to smack another makeshift dummy with a length of pipe—because JJ was getting on his nerves again. He'd just finished with a particularly complex finisher that he wanted Ryotaro to memorize when he heard, "That was some impressive swordsmanship."

                Momo was so in the zone that he jumped a foot in the air, dropping the pipe before he whirled around to confront JJ, who looked apologetic as he said, "I'm sorry, did I startle you?"

                "You bet you did!" Momotaros screamed, ignoring Ryotaro's voice in his head whispering to calm down. "What the hell do you think you're doing, sneaking up on people like that?"

                "I wanted to talk to you, but I got distracted watching you practice," JJ said, picking up the pipe. "That's an interesting workaround in place of a sword. Have you not had any classes?"

                "What's it to you?" Momotaros argued defensively, even as Ryotaro insisted, _"Momotaros, he just wants to_ talk. _"_

                Momotaros huffed, then asked, "So what did you want to talk about?"

                JJ was still holding the pipe and looking at it, but he didn't make any movements like he was going to attack—something Momotaros still was watching, no matter how much Ryotaro insisted everything was fine. His voice sounded disappointed as he said, "I feel like I never know where I stand with you."

                "Huh?" Momotaros asked, shocked.

                JJ nodded, looking back at him with the regret now evident on his face. "Sometimes, it seems like we get along. You're friendly and warm, energetic sometimes, sometimes tired but usually the same general good personality. I understand sometimes you having an eye on the girls, but you never get mad when I talk to you about that. But then you get into these moods like today, and I don't know how to talk to you about that."

                Momotaros stared in confusion, silent long enough for Ryotaro to remind him, _"He's seen all of you in my body, remember? He thinks it's all me."_

                Oh. Well, that explained some things, and now Momotaros was feeling a little bit remorseful for making things harder on Ryotaro. Seeing an opening, JJ came over and briefly clapped a hand on his shoulder before confessing, "Well, I guess it's to be expected. You're a young man going through a lot of changes, it seems. Your sister is interested in one of your friends, things are busier with your shop, and there's a new regular who's a little meddling—it's only natural that you'd feel like you need to assert yourself as the man of the family."

                Something about the way JJ put it stirred emotion in Momotaros's heart. Man of the family, huh? It had appeal—after all, he was chief among the Imagin contracted to Ryotaro. Yeah. He liked that.

                He didn't know why he felt what seemed almost like a sigh from Ryotaro, but he did not appreciate it.

                JJ was holding the pipe in a sword-drawing stance now, but he was definitely aiming at the dummy, not at the Imagin, as he said, "But don't worry—I'm not trying to impose on anything."

                His draw was lightning-fast, bringing a defensive block against the dummy, then swinging down just as quickly in a strike. Momotaros found himself staring in amazement as JJ turned with a humble smile.

                "I took lessons when I was younger," he admitted. "Some things have stuck around. What about you?"

                Now, Momotaros's guard went right back up. Lessons, huh? It made JJ sound like a snob. "Been doing this for a while now."

                But instead of judging him, JJ looked impressed, asking, "You're self-taught? That's amazing! Would you mind showing me what you can do?"

                A smirk spread across Momo's face. Oh yes, he could definitely do that. JJ handed him the pipe, and he said, "I got a few moves—they're all numbered. This is my first finisher."

                JJ looked completely enthralled as Momotaros showed off his exhaustive list of finishing attacks, and Ryotaro let out a mental sigh of relief. Good—that problem was solved.

                But soon enough, he heard Urataros nudge his way into his mind and remark, _"Oh, he's good."_

                Ryotaro knew that comment could not have anything to do with Momotaros, so he asked, _"JJ?"_ The telepathic equivalent of a nod followed.

                _What's that supposed to mean?_ an indignant Momotaros thought.

                _"Oh, nothing,"_ Urataros insisted, while Ryotaro suppressed a laugh and kept his thoughts tightly locked to himself. Urataros was right—JJ had Momo eating out of the palm of his hand.

                It was nearly sunset when the last finisher was complete and Momotaros turned around with a confident smirk to JJ's applause.

                "How's that?" Momotaros asked.

                "Very impressive," JJ insisted. "I'm just sorry that it took this long to get to see what you can do. I would have liked a little more time to get to know you."

                "Wait, what?" Momotaros asked, feeling the sudden burst of shock from everyone in his mind.

                JJ nodded sadly. "The lady I was working for passed away a few days ago, so my job situation is up in the air. Then I've got an old friend who...well, let's just say he's not the most understanding person sometimes, so I really enjoyed coming to your cafe and having the chance to forget my troubles for a bit. But for right now, I'm going to have to focus on finding a new position."

                "Oh," Momotaros replied, feeling rather guilty now that he'd given JJ such a hard time for so long.

                Seeing Momotaros's expression, JJ put a hand on his shoulder again and insisted, "Don't worry. I'll be back as soon as I get everything figured out. And who knows? Maybe I can get my friend to drop by—it'd do him some good to see some more...shall we say, emotionally mature people?"

                Momotaros nodded, then stuck out his hand. JJ paused for a moment, clearly surprised, but then shook.

                "It'll be a shame seeing you go," Momo admitted. "Sis and the others'll miss you."

                "And you too, I hope?" JJ asked.

                Momotaros could feel Ryotaro and the others practically glaring at him in the back of his head as he mumbled, "Yeah, I guess."

                JJ gave him a patient, understanding smile, then waved his fingers and wandered off. Momotaros watched until he disappeared around a corner, then relinquished control back to Ryotaro, who said, "Momotaros, I'm really glad you worked things out with him."

                _"Yeah, yeah,"_ Momo replied. _"Anyway, back to training, Ryotaro. You remember that move?"_

                Ryotaro smiled and nodded as he turned back to the dummy and began to train.

                After that, it was surprisingly routine back at Milk Dipper. Even without JJ, the changes he'd brought had stuck around. Airi's admirers continued to respect her relationship with Yuuto, and the only flowers and gifts brought to the cafe were meant for actual dates. The women remained, but Urataros was a bit more careful with them, taking more notice of Ryotaro's own boundaries. Kintaros and Ryutaros were affected the least, but they could appreciate how serene—or, as in Ryutaros's words, "boring"—things had become.

                It was a few weeks later when another newcomer wandered into the cafe, his hat low on his head. Ryotaro was refilling Yuuto's sugar bowl, so neither of them particularly noticed when Airi greeted the newcomer with a polite "Hello!"

                The man nodded and answered, "Hello," back, and both Riders paused for a moment, staring at each other. Something about the voice was familiar, and they looked over at the newcomer, but he'd made his way to the counter, his back to them.

                "How can we help you today?" Airi asked.

                "I'm supposed to meet someone here," the man answered, and this time, Ryotaro could feel all of his Imagin react at the sound of his voice. Next to him, he could hear Yuuto whispering, "It can't be."

                The man removed his hat and set it on the counter. Now, even Airi looked taken aback at the sight of his face, and she glanced over to Ryotaro and Yuuto, who wasted no time coming over. He seemed completely oblivious to the commotion he was causing, adding, "I don't know if you've seen him? Goes by the name Ju—"

                It was Kai. Ryotaro didn't know how or why, but that was most definitely Kai. And as soon as that fact hit him, Momotaros rushed forward to take control, grabbing Kai by the shoulder and spinning him around. Kai defensively grabbed at his wrist, but Yuuto grabbed the other arm, preventing him from counterattacking.

                "What the hell are you doing back?" Momotaros shouted.

                There was what looked like confusion on Kai's face as he asked, "What?"

                "Don't play dumb," Yuuto warned. "What do you want?"

                Kai's expression didn't change—a mix of confusion, shock, and not-quite-anger as he again asked, "What?!"

                "No point in wasting time on this," Momotaros insisted. "Let's get him out of here."

                Yuuto nodded as they both pulled Kai to his feet and shoved him toward the door. He was resisting with surprising strength, but between them, they almost got him out the door. But finally, he managed to throw them off, though seeming to take care not to hurt them.

                "What is going on?" Kai demanded. "I don't even know you!"

                "What?" Momotaros asked now.

                But Yuuto warned him, "He probably doesn't remember. It doesn't make a difference—we know what you did, Kai."

                That look of confusion deepened, and Kai started to say, "That's not even my—" before Momotaros started shoving him out the door again.

                Now, Kai grabbed Momotaros's arm, and even Momo was shocked at the resistance he was meeting—Kai didn't even look like he was trying, but Momotaros couldn't overpower him. Yuuto stared for a moment in shock as well, unsure just what he could do—after all, they were in a very public, enclosed area. They couldn't risk a fight here.

                Kai's face and voice were dead serious as he insisted, "I don't know who you are. I've never even been here before. I don't know what Juggler told you, but I'm going to leave now." He glanced back to the counter. "Can I have my hat?"

                Airi wasn't moving away from the coffee grinder, but Ozaki and Miura were frozen in horror at the scene. Finally, they realized they were, by default, the closest; and after some shoving between them, they both brought the hat over. Kai quietly thanked them, then put it back on his head.

                "I'm leaving now," he warned Yuuto and Momotaros. "If Juggler shows up again, you can tell him I'm not coming back."

                And that was it. He went out the door without any more fuss—no more fighting, not even an Imagin, nothing. Not that it stopped Yuuto from running out the door to make sure he was really gone, but he came back a few minutes later, nodding.

                Airi breathed a sigh of relief, and Momotaros retreated back to DenLiner, grumbling furiously while the other Imagin asked him a million panicked questions. Ryotaro waited for his heart to stop pounding before he moved away from the door, and Yuuto whispered to him, "That was weird. I tried to follow him, but he completely vanished."

                Kai had done that before, Ryotaro remembered—with his unstable powers, sometimes he could just skip around in space and time in the blink of an eye. But this was weird even for him. Even if he'd forgotten them after sacrificing all of his memories, he seemed strangely...sane. And less expressive, compared to his manic grins that seemed to represent every emotion under the sun.

                "You don't think that maybe that wasn't him, do you?" Ryotaro suggested.

                Yuuto looked at him in shock, but his expression turned inward as he started thinking. In contrast, Momotaros started arguing, _"No way—we all saw him. That was definitely him!"_

                _I know,_ Ryotaro thought, _but he really did seem confused, and not in the way Kai usually did. And he kept talking about someone named Juggler._

_"Kai was always weird,”_ Momotaros insisted. _"Who knows what he was thinking?"_

                Ryotaro nodded, but it couldn't completely erase his doubts. After all, hadn't JJ said something about a friend maybe dropping by?

                And across the street, Juggler had a private laugh at the fiasco he'd just thrown Gai into. He likely wasn't going to be able to go back there again, but it was worth it for their reactions. And he was getting tired of the whole goody two-shoes act anyway.

                After all, there were nearly infinite universes, with a multitude of planets. He'd find another coffee shop he liked soon enough.

**Author's Note:**

>  _Ultraman Orb_ is the best sequel to _Den-O_ , and nothing will convince me otherwise. "JJ" is a reference to Takaya Aoyagi's character in _Kaiju Girls_ , who is basically Chibi Juggler fanboying gijinka kaiju. He also heavily skews the story of himself and Gai to his benefit.
> 
> It may have been a mistake for me and Wei to marathon the Kai arc of _Den-O_ , then follow-it up with the _Orb_ movie.


End file.
